STRESS

Stress is described as the body’s response to the demands of life.

The body naturally responds to stress and perceived danger in order to survive.  There are three responses to stress

1. Fight – stay and face the danger.
2. Flight – run away as fast as you can.
3. Freeze – where you do nothing and just freeze.

These are primal, natural responses to danger and allows the body to react in life threatening situations.

However, in the modern world, the danger is more emotional rather than physical and life threatening.

With emotional stress our bodies react the same way.  We either fight, run or totally freeze.

 

Stress can be caused by a particular event such as a death, loss of a job, exams etc.

At this moment during COVID-19 there is a lot of uncertainty and fear related to not knowing what is going to happen.

However, stress is not always caused by a big life event, life itself is stressful. 

Prolonged stress can lead to hypertension. That is, the more stress you feel the less stress and life events that you are able to deal with, and so in turn the less you need in order to become overwhelmed.  This can become a cycle where even small stresses can become difficult to deal with.

The level of stress a person feels is less related to the amount of actual stress or stressful events and more closely related to expectations.  In these times people seem to expect that they can juggle many demands, do them all well, and do them easily.   There is very little room for failure, or down time.

 

In trying to juggle what you think everyone else wants from you, you are not focusing on you and what makes you happy.  You get forgotten in it all.

In therapy we provide stress management techniques in order to quickly reduce the bodies response to stress. 

After than we will look at your stressors, your reactions to them and challenge your expectations. 

ABUSE

 

The Theory

Abuse is defined as any action that is carried out in order to intentionally harm or control another person.

It is the misuse of power.

There are seven main types of abuse:

1. Physical abuse    – this is control using physical force or restraint, or the threat of it.
2. Sexual abuse      – involves sexual assault, rape and grooming.
3. Verbal abuse      – this involves control through words, including bullying.
4. Emotional abuse – this involves undermining a person’s self-esteem and self-worth in order to control. Coercive control is not legally considered abuse in Ireland.                                   This is where a person undermines and demeans a person over a long period of time.
5. Financial abuse   – where a person controls all the money and how it gets spent.
6. Religious abuse   – where a person is forced to believe or not to believe certain beliefs.
7. Neglect              – where a person’s needs are intentionally not being met.

Usually a person who is being abused will suffer multiple forms of abuse.

 

THE HELP

 

Most abuse involves isolation.  Because of this, the person being abused often feels like they have nowhere to go or nobody they can trust to help them.

The abused person suffers from something known as ‘learned helplessness’.  This is where the person is so isolated, their self–esteem is so low, and they are so frightened, that they feel they have no power or no way out of the situation.

Also, if an abused person does get out of an abusive relationship, they still suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of lack of confidence.

 

Therapy can help. By working together we can come up with a safety plan if needed.

By talking about and facing what you went through or are going through, you can begin to make sense of it. 

The aim of therapy is to understand, empower and help you move through your experience.